Nana No More: Generational Estrangement
"Do your boys still have a relationship with your mum?"
When that phone call ended on the 6th of September 2021, we were in new territory; the complete unknown. It’s only with the passage of time that something gets labelled ‘estrangement’ - even having been through it, I’m not sure of the exact time that’s expected to elapse. Should it be months? Years? Decades?
I started to test the sound of the letters on my tongue after about 3 months of no contact. It had been 3 months of nothingness, and the first birthday that my mum hadn’t sent a message, let alone been a huge part of my day.
Her silence on my birthday stung - all day it hung in the air like a fog. Then, the day after, resignation that she’d purposely meant it that way turned the hurt to sadness. But at the same time, it was permission to let go and accept things really weren’t going back to how they’d been for 36 years. Because even though I’d ‘broken free’ of the rules and expectation, I still felt as though I needed her permission.
